The “New 10 Commandments” According to Christopher Hitchens

By Jon Henshaw March 4th, 2010

Christopher Hitchens wrote an article in Vanity Fair called The New Commandments. He makes a compelling case–using scripture against itself to defend his action in a tongue in cheek fashion–that it’s time to replace the old commandments with new ones.

The New Commandments

1. Do not condemn people on the basis of their ethnicity or color.
2. Do not ever use people as private property.
3. Despise those who use violence or the threat of it in sexual relations.
4. Hide your face and weep if you dare to harm a child.
5. Do not condemn people for their inborn nature—why would God create so many homosexuals only in order to torture and destroy them?
6. Be aware that you too are an animal and dependent on the web of nature, and think and act accordingly.
7. Do not imagine that you can escape judgment if you rob people with a false prospectus rather than with a knife.
8. Turn off that fucking cell phone—you have no idea how unimportant your call is to us.
9. Denounce all jihadists and crusaders for what they are: psychopathic criminals with ugly delusions.
10. Be willing to renounce any god or any religion if any holy commandments should contradict any of the above.