- Taoism: Shit Happens
- Hinduism: This Shit Happened Before
- Islam: If Shit Happens, Take A Hostage
- Buddhism: When Shit Happens Is It Really Shit?
- 7th Day Adventist: Shit Happens On Saturday
- Protestantism: Shit Won’t Happen If I Work Harder
- Catholicism: If Shit Happens, I Deserve It
- Jehovah’s Witness: Knock, Knock, “Shit Happens”
- Judaism: Why Does Shit Always Happen To Me?
- Hare Krishna: Shit Happens Rama Rama Ding Dong
- Atheism: No Shit
- T.V. Evangelism: Send More Shit
- Rastafarianism: Let’s Smoke This Shit